Review: Madame Web
INTRODUCTION
This is a quick review of the newly released film Madame Web. Keep in mind this is but one of the many movies I watch every year, and that whatever initial grade I come up for this film could change for better or worse with time. To better keep up to date with both my thoughts on other movies and if my feelings on this film changed, follow me on Letterboxd.
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THE PLOT
Via Letterboxd: Forced to confront revelations about her past, paramedic Cassandra Webb forges a relationship with three young women destined for powerful futures - if they can all survive a deadly present.
QUICK REVIEW
Once in a while social media and communities of movie fandom get hyperbolic about a mediocre movie with proclamations its the worst thing they’ve ever seen - clearly not having plunge the depths of Tubi’s original movies. Film cataloging and scoring sites like IMDB, Letterboxd, Metacritic, or Rotten Tomatoes get reviewed bomb as everyone comes to a consensus that said film deserves F-tier grades. Nine out of ten times I walk into such movies and walk away with the thought it was more alongside a C-tier kind of product and that the hyperbole was out of control. But when it comes to the latest entry into Sony’s own Spider-Man universe, Madame Web actually comes close to living to the hyperbole.
Its hard to even know where to begin with what went wrong with this movie - much less what is the key weak link in its own web. Is it the laughable marketing, that became a meme on to itself. Is it the dialogue, which is so awful I wondered if the script was written by AI. Is it the acting, which is at best pedestrian and mailed in. Is it the pacing, which had you feeling like moments weren’t earned. Is it the awkward chemistry between our heroines, that has you wondering how such a cast produced such lackluster performances. Is it the uninspiring villain, that seems miscast at best and horribly acted at worst. Is it the cringe attempts at Easter eggs. Is it the forgettable story. There’s so much to unwrap here into just how bad and paint-by-the-numbers this movie really is. The whole final product feels like everyone was rushing to get a paycheck and not give us anything of value.
This feels like the kind of superhero flick that was produced during the early 2000s, back when the idea of a Batman movie almost getting into Best Picture at the Oscars or a B-tier Marvel superhero seeing their standalone movie make history with the Academy would have been a laughable concept. In other words, back when all the superhero movies were mediocre and forgettable with very few outliers in between. At least the lower tier comic book adaptations during today’s down periods for the subgenre can still deliver some “turn your brain off” entertainment, with Madame Web and movies from the era this film takes place in even turning off your brain won’t do the job.
Like I alluded to at the start of this written review, the hyperbolic consensus that forms over certain mediocre films lowers the bar so bad that I tend to walk away at least thinking “Well it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad.” With Madame Web, I can report it is actually THAT bad. Even the Venom and Morbius movies make more sense and feel less mailed in. 206’s Suicide Squad at least tried to earn its moments, 2022’s Morbius at least tried to build some lore, 2023’s The Marvels at least had chemistry between its leads. Madame Web has no conceivable upside other than (very few) glimpses of live-action takes of other Spiderman-related heroines.
And the crazy thing is this isn’t even my least favorite movie of the year because Netflix’s awful Lift film exists. I give Madame Web a D+, and that plus is for the many decades to come of “so bad, its good” content we’ll get for this disaster. Other than the fun I had with The Book Of Clarence and the pleasant surprises that were The Beekeeper and Orion And The Dark, 2024 cinema has not had the best of starts.
INTIAL GRADING
