INTRODUCTION
A brand new year and a brand new season of movie watching for me kicked off three months back. 2022 is going to have trouble following up the incredibly solid year for movies that was 2021, but as I write this its already delivered some really good to great stuff and we’re not even into Summer blockbuster season yet!
Anyhow, here are my thoughts on the February 2022 movie releases in alphabetical order of their respective release dates. A reminder, you can click this link to see how I grade films when I review them.
BOOK OF LOVE
- The Plot: Henry, an English writer who has written a new book that has become a failure in the UK, gets notified that the dull book has been highly trending over in Mexico. Little does he know that Maria, a Spanish translator, turned the book into an erotic novel. Henry and Maria then swerve around Mexico to do a book tour and go through a wind of events.
- Quick Review: Made me chuckle more than a few times and the plot is intriguing, but it meanders now and then and the film starts to overstay its welcome towards the third act. The parts where the comedy comments on women obsessing over tawdry books seem to be the best parts, but all the extra stuff after that just feels like things they didn't really know what to do with with past a clever concept they didn't quite execute well. Its an okay “one and done” rom-com watch, but nothing downright awful either. Its where it belongs on Prime.
- Initial Grade: B/C
LAST LOOKS
- The Plot: A disgraced ex-cop seeks solace by moving to the woods, but his quiet life comes to an end when a private eye recruits him to investigate the murder of an eccentric TV star’s wife.
- Quick Review: A modern Noir that sets up some interesting characters, subplots, and background that unfortunately ends up being more boring than thrilling as it meanders around too much and none of the jokes really land - culminating in a very predictable conclusion and reveal. Mel Gibson going all in on playing a buffoon-ish actor and Charlie Hunnam giving it his all with a lazy story are the only highlights. Oh and if you're a Morena Baccarin super fan, you can skip this because aside from what the marketing wants to sell you, she's barely in it.
- Initial Grade: C-
MOONFALL
- The Plot: A mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit around Earth and sends it hurtling on a collision course with life as we know it.
- Quick Review: This just might be Roland Emmerich's worst and most skippable disaster film ever. It boggles my mind that a popcorn flick is THIS boring with nothing of note save for exposition and fake-out action scenes. To top it off there's embarrassingly bad dialogue, accents that come and go, mediocre character arcs, and awful distracting green screen. I laughed AT the movie rather than with it during its attempts at humor, and that included laughing at its supposedly gripping and thrilling moments as well. An absolute mess from a director that got lightning in a bottle once or twice two decades ago, and has just been mediocre to okay since.
- Initial Grade: C+
THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD
- The Plot: Chronicles four years in the life of Julie, a young woman who navigates the troubled waters of her love life and struggles to find her career path, leading her to take a realistic look at who she really is.
- Quick Review: As I suspected during the half of year of hype I saw for this one, I admired this more than I loved it. I didn't connect with characters as much as others have and I wonder if that's a generational thing? Barely anything was relatable to me even as the story still had me invested. I also found the main protagonist more frustrating than quirky and I thought the third act was trying to do too much all at once. But its a decent character study with some laughs and super cool imagery.
- Initial Grade: B-
KIMI
- The Plot: During the COVID-19 pandemic in Seattle, an agoraphobic tech worker discovers evidence of a violent crime while reviewing a data stream, and is met with resistance and bureaucracy when she tries reporting it to her company. To get involved, she realizes she must face her greatest fear by venturing out of her apartment and into the city streets, which are filled with protestors in the wake of the city council passing a law restricting the movements of the homeless population.
- Quick Review: A blast for those of us who enjoy Hitchcock style mystery thrillers. Yes its predictable, yes the climax feels forced and unrealistic, and yes its clearly made on a budget; but its got edge of your seat moments, a nice character arc with a dash of romance, serviceable performances, and an OUTSTANDING score.
- Initial Grade: B-
BLACKLIGHT
- The Plot: Travis Block is a shadowy Government agent who specializes in removing operatives whose covers have been exposed. He then has to uncover a deadly conspiracy within his own ranks that reaches the highest echelons of power.
- Quick Review: Good lord, this was a mess to say the least. This is Peak post Taken Trilogy, Liam Nesson's action career in a bad way. I've cut this subgenre of film of his some slack, even as they progressively have gotten worse, but I can't defend this. Boring, stale, same old crap, etc. Its just completely skippable and the man needs to start doing something new with his career, because small boring action films like this don't have a place in the theatrical marketplace anymore.
- Initial Grade: D-
DEATH ON THE NILE
- The Plot: Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot’s Egyptian vacation aboard a glamorous river steamer turns into a terrifying search for a murderer when a picture perfect couple’s idyllic honeymoon is tragically cut short.
- Quick Review: While this has some first half pacing issues and some mediocre efforts from its ensemble cast who come off way too camp at times, Kenneth Branagh elevates the film with his obvious love for the infamous detective and a serviceable mystery for crime book/movie fans. Its escapist cinema with a nice looking cast and set designs regardless of its weaknesses.
- Initial Grade: B-
I WANT YOU BACK
- The Plot: Peter and Emma thought they were on the precipice of life’s biggest moments – marriage, kids, and houses in the suburbs; until their respective partners dumped them. Horrified to learn that the loves of their lives have already moved on, Peter and Emma hatch a hilarious plan to win back their exes with unexpected results.
- Quick Review: A major pleasant surprise in the same vein of last year's Love Hard. Hilarious and raunchy in its humorous looks at sex and dating; and yet heartfelt in its themes on failed relationships and friends turned lovers. This is the rom-com that should have gotten all the attention Valentine’s Day weekend with all due respect to J-Lo and Owen Wilson. Really fun film all around.
- Initial Grade: B+
MARRY ME
- The Plot: Explores the possibilities of what might happen when a superstar marries an average Joe as a joke and discovers that perhaps there are no accidents.
- Quick Review: An interesting look back to a past era of big studio, big stars' starring, mid budget rom-coms that are now regulated mostly to Netflix. Unfortunately this feels just like all those straight to streamers - an okay film that's better to see on Peacock than the local theatres. The musical scenes were overlong for me, and I wasn't digging the music or buying into the chemistry between the two leads. This was a poor man’s Notting Hill in my book.
- Initial Grade: B/C
THE IN-BETWEEN
- The Plot: After surviving a car accident that took the life of her boyfriend, a teenage girl believes he’s attempting to reconnect with her from the afterlife.
- Quick Review: It means well with an interesting premise that has potential and the ending is heartening, but overall felt a tad too hollow for me. I feel like more could've been executed with this one than the mediocrity we got. It gave me vibes of one of those YA dramas i’m not particularly fond of.
- Initial Grade: C-
THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE
- The Plot: Lennie is a teen musical prodigy grieving the death of her sister when she finds herself caught between a new guy at school and her sister’s devastated boyfriend. Through her vivid imagination and conflicted heart, she navigates first love and first loss.
- Quick Review: Like the previous entry, another example of why I'm not wild about the YA drama subgenre. Feels forced even with its heart in the right place, and I found myself more bored than invested in what happens to everyone in this rare melodramatic miss from A24.
- Initial Grade: C-
DOG
- The Plot: An army ranger and his dog embark on a road trip along the Pacific Coast Highway to attend a friend’s funeral.
- Quick Review: Heartfelt at times and I legit got some chuckles here or there, but it also tries too hard to be outside the box while yet somehow still remaining overall a pretty formulaic film. Its not a movie that I think one hates, but I didn't really find myself thinking of it as anything near even just a tad above average. The major highlight is the dog which...hey, at least it didn't die in the end like the trailers already spoiled! This should've been sent straight to Netflix if anything.
- Initial Grade: C+
THE CURSED
- The Plot: In the late nineteenth century, brutal land baron Seamus Laurent slaughters a Roma clan, unleashing a curse on his family and village. In the days that follow, the townspeople are plagued by nightmares, Seamus’s son Edward goes missing, and a boy is found murdered. The locals suspect a wild animal, but visiting pathologist John McBride warns of a more sinister presence lurking in the woods.
- Quick Review: An arthouse or "elevated horror" type of film that touched on the supernatural in a way I enjoyed, and we don't get enough werewolf films these days. Does lag in places though which will make it not work for everyone, and the ending is a bit convoluted. But overall I dug this enough to like it more than not.
- Initial Grade: B-
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
- The Plot: After nearly fifty years of hiding, Leatherface returns to terrorize a group of idealistic young friends who accidentally disrupt his carefully shielded world in a remote Texas town.
- Quick Review: Feels like a film that didn't get the memo that "Re-quels" like this aren't part of the torture porn era of mid-2000s horror. Also feels like the absolute bare minimum was done at every corner of writing here whether it be plot, arcs, or dialogue. The body count is ludicrously and hilariously high just for gore's sake, and the final shot just begs you to stop taking this serious if you ever did at all. In a day and age where these "Re-quels" have been so successful for horror, this is a reminder good writing still matters even with well known IP and lore. The only reason this isn't in the D range for me is the fact I personally give franchise sequels entries a little slack, but certainly a low tier entry in the Texas Chainsaw library.
- Initial Grade: C+
UNCHARTED
- The Plot: A young street smart Nathan Drake and his wisecracking partner Victor “Sully” Sullivan embark on a dangerous pursuit of “the greatest treasure never found” while also tracking clues that may lead to Nathan’s long lost brother.
- Quick Review: If you're looking for a great video game adaptation that is true to the source material, you'll be greatly disappointed in this past the prologue. If you're looking for a run of the mill adventure film that will do the job and pass the time as you munch on your popcorn with a turned off brain at the theatre, you'll get what you wanted from this flick. I can see why this would be a C tier movie for some, but I'll admittedly give it some slack as I was entertained for the most part, enjoyed some action and set pieces, and thought Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg had some great chemistry together that elevated the mediocre script. Overall at worst just okay, and at best just decent.
- Initial Grade: B-
THREE MONTHS
- The Plot: Caleb, a gay teenager from Miami, is exposed to HIV the weekend of his high school graduation. Unsure of his future, he starts a new relationship with someone from his support group as he waits the three months it takes to get tested.
- Quick Review: Heartfelt, quirky, down to Earth, and with a fascinating perspective, this is a decent directorial debut that deserved better marketing by Paramount+. It does have those strains of YA drama that I'm not a fan of, but the serious subject matter and good writing elevated it.
- Initial Grade: B-
CYRANO
- The Plot: A man ahead of his time, Cyrano de Bergerac dazzles whether with ferocious wordplay at a verbal joust or with brilliant swordplay in a duel. But convinced that his appearance renders him unworthy of the love of a devoted friend, the luminous Roxanne, he has yet to declare his feelings for her—and she has fallen in love at first sight with Curano’s fellow soldier Christian.
- Quick Review: Its criminal how badly mishandled this film's release was, I tried my best to catch it as part of my 2021 movie season but eventually had to wait until 2022. Its a beautiful romantic musical with Dinklage giving an Oscar worthy performance that was unfortunately snubbed last second. The soundtrack isn't too memorable and it does end on a more sour note than I'd like, but overall a solid film which has earned its fanbase.
- Initial Grade: B+
NO EXIT
- The Plot: Stranded at an isolated highway rest stop in the mountains during a blizzard, a college student discovers a kidnapped child hidden in a car belonging to one of the people inside the building, which sets her on a terrifying life or death struggle to discover who among them is the kidnapper.
- Quick Review: I tried to like this as much as others have, and I did appreciate the concept, but too much is revealed so fast that by the time THAT twist comes in the third act it feels like the writing is being made up as it goes and I laughed out loud at how convoluted it was all becoming. That said it isn't downright awful either, its a serviceable, predictable, and generic thriller that I just wish had been executed a ton better than it does. I can see why Disney just slapped this on Hulu.
- Initial Grade: C+
STUDIO 666
- The Plot: Legendary rock band Foo Fighters move into an Encino mansion steeped in grisly rock and roll history to record their much anticipated tenth album. Once in the house, lead man Dave Grohl finds himself grappling with supernatural forces that threaten both the completion of the album and the lives of the band.
- Quick Review: Has its fun moments more than scarier ones, but that could be a given since its a horror comedy. There isn't anything that groundbreaking here past seeing the Foo Fighters doing their own movie and if you're a major fan of “balls to the wall” gore. I'd say this is something you wait to see at home, but only for certain crowds though.
- Initial Grade: B/C
TYLER PERRY’S A MADEA HOMECOMING
- The Plot: Madea’s back! And she’s not putting up with any nonsense as family drama erupts at her great grandson’s college graduation celebration.
- Quick Review: Yet another Madea film that got a few chuckles from me but hurts itself with hilarious over the top melodrama that feels forced and out of tone with the comedic subject matter. Also with all due respect, the Agnes Brown inclusion felt off and didn't come together like Tyler Perry was probably hoping it would. Its mediocre, but at least it ain't A Fall From Grace bad and like I said I did chuckle a few times.
- Initial Grade: B/C