A brand new year and a brand new season of movie watching for me kicked off three months back. 2022 is going to have trouble following up the incredibly solid year for movies that was 2021, but as I write this its already delivered some really good to great stuff and we’re not even into Summer blockbuster season yet!
Anyhow, here are my thoughts on the January 2022 movie releases in alphabetical order of their respective release dates. A reminder, you can click this link to see how I grade films when I review them.
THE 355
- The Plot: A group of top female agents from American, British, Chinese, Columbian and German government agencies are drawn together to try and stop an organization from acquiring a deadly weapon to send the world into chaos.
- Quick Review: While I enjoyed some action sequences, I thought the ladies came off as legitimate bad asses even while still feeling like they weren't pulling the over the top "girl boss" vibes of the cringe trailers that put some off, and I saw the possibilities of every character and their arc, this film unfortunately ends up as predictable and as basic as they come with every turn - feeling like a generic template script for every other ensemble action thriller.
- Initial Grade: C+
BELLE
- The Plot: Suzu is a seventeen year old high school student living in a rural town with her father. Wounded by the loss of her mother at a young age, Suzu one day discovers the massive online world “U” and dives into this alternate reality as her avatar, Belle. Before long, all of U’s eyes are fixed on Belle when suddenly a mysterious dragon like figure appears before her.
- Quick Review: While I wouldn't say this earns that ludicrous fifteen minute standing ovation that it supposedly received at last year's Cannes Film Festival, it does deliver amazing animation, great character arcs, emotional songs, and some new ideas for the Beauty and the Beast subgenre of stories. It does get a bit overlong towards the climax and a tad too over melodramatic for my tastes, but other than that I found this to be a beautiful and solid anime musical.
- Initial Grade: B+
BRAZEN
- The Plot: Mystery writer Grace Miller has killer instincts when it comes to motive - and she’ll need every bit of expertise to help solve her sister’s murder.
- Quick Review: Didn't QUITE despise this as strongly as others seemed to, but this felt like a marriage between a “made for TV Hallmark romance” and a “made for TV Lifetime thriller”. Clearly the book this was adapted from is one of those novels that translates better as junk food fun on the page, but a convoluted mess on screen that might make you laugh at the movie rather than be gripped by it. That said I can also see this as a trashy guilty pleasure for those who can easily get it on Netflix.
- Initial Grade: C-
HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA: TRANSFORMANIA
- The Plot: When Van Helsing’s mysterious invention, the Monsterfication Ray, goes haywire, Drac and his monster pals are all transformed into humans and Johnny becomes a monster. In their new mismatched bodies, Drac and Johnny must team up and race across the globe to find a cure before it’s too late - and before they drive each other crazy.
- Quick Review: While the first Hotel Transylvania was a pleasant surprise as a decent animated flick, every sequel since then has just weakened the franchise more and this one is no different. A lazy script, childish humor that relies too much on modern references and pop songs that keep this from having any shot at being timeless, and a supporting cast of characters that feel like they're just there because they have to be. Its way past time to end this franchise - and yet I didn't find this completely awful either?
- Initial Grade: C+
SEX APPEAL
- The Plot: Avery, a teenager with a tendency towards perfectionism, enlists her friend Larson to help her prepare for her first sexual encounter with her long distance boyfriend.
- Quick Review: This is a film that finds a way to try too hard to be different when it doesn't need to be, and yet also doesn't try hard enough to be different when it has to be. I don't know if this is a Gen Z thing (I'm a young 30s Millennial) but what's this with kids and teachers talking like they're friends? Did that start happening after my time? Anyways, this was mediocre which is frustrating given the interesting ideas it explored regarding sex positivity and the twisty, different kind of ending.
- Initial Grade: C+
SCREAM (2022)
- The Plot: Twenty five years after a streak of brutal murders shocked the quiet town of Woodsboro, a new killer has donned the Ghostface mask once again and begins targeting a group of teenagers to resurrect secrets from the town’s deadly past.
- Quick Review: I've always liked but didn't love the Scream franchise. I don't think the first film is a masterpiece of horror cinema like others do, and yet I also think the sequels (especially parts 3 and 4) get too bad a rap. They're sort of the Fast And Furious franchise for the horror genre in my mind, binge-able junk food films that are overly ridiculous but find a way to get passes for their flaws. Anyways, I wasn't as in love with this “re-quel” as others, I actually consider it among the low tier of the franchise. I honestly thought part 4, the previous entry in the franchise, tackled the meta ideas explored here a ton better; and like with too many of the films I already figured out the killer(s) by the first act. Still, the ensemble here both classic and new made the best of their moments to shine in this. Anyhow, all these movies honestly blend together to me and this was like all of the others - decent enough.
- Initial Grade: B-
THE HOUSE
- The Plot: Across different eras, a poor family, an anxious developer, and a fed up landlady become tied to the same mysterious house in this animated dark comedy.
- Quick Review: Anthologies always come off as just okay to me since I'm being given multiple stories and it ultimately feels like I'm just watching a string of short films rather than an all encompassing narrative. However when real effort is put into them (Ala The French Dispatch from last year), I can get a better sense of a film that comes together as one. This is a bleak film which is usually not my tempo, but the animation in this is commendable as hell and its overall a decent little film that could find itself becoming a cult classic down the line thanks to its witty dark humor.
- Initial Grade: B/C
THE ROYAL TREATMENT
- The Plot: Isabella runs her own salon and isn’t afraid to speak her mind, while Prince Thomas runs his own country and is about to marry for duty rather than love. When Izzy and her fellow stylists get the opportunity of a lifetime to do the hair for the royal wedding, she and Prince Thomas learn that taking control of their own destiny requires following their hearts.
- Quick Review: This predictably got slammed by most critics as corny, predictable, bland, etc and I get it because it feels like every other straight to TV or streamer "find love with a Prince rom-com” and its clearly a flawed cheap production - but I'll be damned, are these guilty pleasure “one and done watches” for me. Its just mediocre to okay, but I can't possibly loathe this either.
- Initial Grade: B/C
A HERO
- The Plot: Rahim is in prison because of a debt he was unable to repay. During a two day leave, he tries to convince his creditor to withdraw his complaint against the payment of part of the sum. But things don’t go as planned.
- Quick Review: I ended up respecting more than liking this. I certainly got the Uncut Gems vibe from it that others said they did. But this was with a much more sympathetic character than that story, which made this even more bleak and frustrating to watch unfold. Not to mention as someone who had his own personal major debt issues in the past, this did come a little too close to home for me. That all said its a very well done movie with great direction and performances - and I appreciated the sweet and hopeful part to the bittersweet ending.
- Initial Grade: B-
MUNICH: THE EDGE OF WAR
- The Plot: At the tense 1938 Munich Conference, former friends who now work for opposing governments become reluctant spies racing to expose a Nazi secret.
- Quick Review: Does this feel more like something that should have been stretched out to a BBC mini-series? Yes. Does its lower budget show more than a few times? Yes. Does it ultimately feel like a B tier historical drama of a period in history we've gone over a million times by now? Yes. But I am a sucker for British historical dramas, and I found myself enjoying this story of an ill fated friendship and an ill fated attempt to stop a coming war that would have to be fought.
- Initial Grade: B-
REDEEMING LOVE
- The Plot: A retelling of the biblical book of Hosea set against the backdrop of the California Gold Rush of 1850.
- Quick Review: I agree the faith-based sections of this can hammer its themes way too hard and that it falls into a lot of the flaws these faith based films do. But I didn't find the movie to be anything horrible either. Its greatest sin if anything is that it was way too overlong for what it is and over did it on the melodrama at times. This is a romance drama that should have been a shorter watch on Netflix, not an epic released as a theatrical.
- Initial Grade: C+
THE KING’S DAUGHTER
- The Plot: King Louis XIV’s quest for immortality leads him to capture and steal a Mermaid’s life force - a move that is further complicated by his illegitimate daughter’s discovery of the creature.
- Quick Review: A glimpse into another era of the industry with a film that has been in post-production hell for half a decade now. This is a mess on almost every level and yet you can tell the performers are trying their best with the mediocre material - especially Pierce Brosnan. Another new (well not quite NEW) theatrical film that overreached and should've just made a deal with a streamer.
- Initial Grade: C+
COMPARTMENT NO.6
- The Plot: A young Finnish woman escapes an enigmatic love affair in Moscow by boarding a train to the arctic port of Murmansk. Forced to share the long ride and a tiny sleeping car with a larger than life Russian miner, the unexpected encounter leads the occupants of Compartment No. 6 to face major truths about human connection.
- Quick Review: A film that is touching at times, and I can see why its so beloved among some in that regard; but its also a bit too slow paced in other places and could make it a slog for some. Overall a decent international film I liked that explores the connection people can make with one another even as strangers, but not quite the great Before Trilogy either.
- Initial Grade: B-
THE FALLOUT
- The Plot: In the wake of a school tragedy, Vada, Mia, and Quinton form a unique and dynamic bond as they navigate the never linear, often confusing journey to heal in a world that feels forever changed.
- Quick Review: A fascinating character study with some interesting things to say in regard to trauma and moving on at a time someone is still trying to discover who they are. The performances are top notch as well, particularly the lead in Jenna Ortega who at one point made me wonder if she actually got high in reality rather than accept it as part of the performance. That said the pacing is an issue for me, and I do think this lacks re-watchability for those who don't end up loving it as much as others have; plus as a Non Gen Z-er I didn't connect with some things here or there which may have lead for me to feel disconnected from certain moments in the film.
- Initial Grade: B-
HOME TEAM
- The Plot: Two years after a Super Bowl win, when NFL head coach Sean Payton is suspended, he goes back to his hometown and finds himself reconnecting with his twelve year old son by coaching his Pop Warner football team.
- Quick Review: This was a nice family sports comedy that got a couple good chuckles from me and had a scene or two that showcased some heart. I do think the typical “Happy Madison” tropes weighed it down at times, which takes you out of the story which itself is a true-life event which means it shouldn't feel so obviously made up in certain spots! And while I dug the last shot, the climatic moment felt off to me going for sophomoric humor that felt off with the moment. Its where it belongs on Netflix, but I thought this was okay more than mediocre.
- Initial Grade: B/C
THE ICE AGE ADVENTURES OF BUCK WILD
- The Plot: The fearless one eyed weasel Buck teams up with mischievous possum brothers Crash and Eddie as they head off on a new adventure into Buck’s home - The Dinosaur World.
- Quick Review: Yes I'm perfectly willing to admit the animation in this is GOD-AWFUL and feels like a pilot for a would be TV show more so than a spinoff film; and yes it doesn't necessarily do much but go for lazy writing, humor, and predictable storytelling; but I have to say I ended up caring about the arcs of these characters more than I expected I would, and I think this is harmless fun for kids to put on Disney+ as background. Its not good, but I didn't outright hate it either.
![Sex Appeal” - Lots of sex and no appeal [MOVIE REVIEW] - Easy Reader News](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F88bb8350-4c8f-4d23-9063-9ccab03f0f36_1200x675.jpeg "Sex Appeal” - Lots of sex and no appeal [MOVIE REVIEW] - Easy Reader News")
